Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Warning

This goes out to all the young Joes. A little piece of what SHOULD BE common sense that I'd like to share.

DO NOT BOTHER TRYING TO MEET GIRLS OFF OF MYSPACE.

"Oh come on dude, why not?"

Why not, oh well pull up a chair, princess, and I'll tell you why not. You see, MySpace is the score upon which Satan writes his requiems of treachery. Nothing good can come from meeting a girl off of myspace, sorry. The truth is one bitter, broken glass shard pill that may be hard to swallow for some of you young hopefuls. But do yourself a favor and listen to the wise sage that is me. DON'T DO IT. Treat this with more importance than the safety briefings you disregard every Friday before close of business formation.

"Dude....I asked why not. Either answer or leave me alone."

All right spanky, listen up. Its a well known FACT that its not smart to mess with army wives. Its an even MORE well known fact that it isn't smart to mess with army wives whose husbands are DEPLOYED. Now, some, not all, but some army wives (or girlfriends even) are less than trustworthy. And MySpace, ladies and gentlemen, as you well know, is a perfect breeding ground for ALLLLLL sorts of scandalous activity. Hey, if guys weren't getting shot over this, I wouldn't care.

TWO married, YOUNG girls just left our barracks. They were hanging around here with some guys I know. After they left, one dude told me they were both married, which is why he kept his distance. Congratulations, guy, you aren't a moron.

But all ranting aside, let me just reiterate my point. DO NOT MESS WITH OTHER SOLDIERS' WOMEN, THIS IS NOT DIFFICULT TO GRASP. Save everyone some trouble and keep that Days of Our Lives bullshit ON THE TV where it belongs.

That, and any girl who will meet you off of myspace, will ALSO meet almost any other guy. Sorry dude, but this isn't a Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movie. Use your head.

"Then why the hell do you have a MySpace account for your stupid-ass blog?!"

Shut up. No myspace girls/wives. No! Bad!

If by now I haven't made myself clear, well then you deserve to be shot (minorly wounded of course). Go look for girls in bookstores or something. Anywhere in the REAL world. Stop sucking so bad. The Divine Sage is going to bed. If you have any questions, don't look for girls on MySpace. Problem solved.

2 comments:

julie anna said...

That is some damn good advice. Except, some Army wives tend to hang out in bookstores too. I wrote a post earlier that has similar ideas. Must be something in the water around here that has us all crazy.

Anonymous said...

Jody has to meet them somewhere, dude.