Thursday, August 10, 2006

Shoot Me

I'll try to keep this rant short. I'm more or less free now, was able to go to the shopette to buy some supplies and Gatorade. Staying in tonight, because we have to work up until we leave, no days off or anything as far as I know.

Since I got off, I've been lazily working on packing everything, because we've got a layout tomorrow morning. A layout is when you bring everything on the packing list outside or in the hallway or wherever the inspection is to be, and items are called off one by one, and you hold them up to prove you packed it. Pain in the ass, but Joe is stupid and forgets things, so its a necessary evil. I've got my menial task to keep me busy.

A knock on my door. They tried to call me in for extra duty. Sorry, dick, I'm done. Go away. Return to packing. Another knock.

"Hey man, you gotta have atleast one with us," says a jovial fellow.

"How about you eat my ass? There's no way I can settle for just one. Not doing it dude."

"Come on man."

"No."

Once again, slowly packing, like an elderly man going on a vacation he doesn't care for much. I step into the latrine to dump the remaining water out of my camelbak. Three guys, one can of shaving cream.

"Hey man, what are you on extra duty for?" asks one.

"I'm not. I'm done."

"Well what WERE you on extra duty for?"

"...Underage drinking."

"Oh. Wanna underage drink with us?"

"No. I'm still on probation. I fuck up again, I get busted down to E1."

Packing. Some more. Then my roommate and I decide to go outside and have a smoke. Exit the hallowed sanctuary of the room into the jungle that is the hallway.

One guy, bottle of Hpnotiq swinging in his hand. He's already killed a fifth of Hennesy. Along with him is a crowd of guys coagulated in one end of the hallway. Yelling, shit talking. Apparently one of the new guys was getting hazed and didn't dig it too much and kept bitching even after they untied him. Drunk soldier has wings and now everyone's a tough guy. More yelling. No action. Go figure.

Aforementioned jovial fellow comes out of his room. His roommate is yelling, "You suck. You're a bitch. He said you won't hit him." Instigating. Who doesn't want to see a fight, right? I mean look at it logically. They're fucking morons. There is no logic, I lied.

Jovial fellow: "What the fuck..." etc. Loud blah blah blah.

How this next part comes about, I don't know. Drunk Hpnotiq guy wants Loud Guy Formerly Known As Jovial Fellow to slap him. Jovial Guy scoffs. Hpnotiq insists. Jovial slaps.

"Again!"

Smack.

"Again!"

This fool wants a few good bitchslaps, because apparently that makes him tough or something? I don't know. I just work here. Let's take a look at the drink desire scale real quick.

The Usual Suspect's Desire to Drink: 0

Glad these guys make it so easy for me. It was annoying at first, now its a joke. I got two months to go til I'm 21. One month (at most) will be spent on this detail. Two weeks later, Yakima, or so the rumor mill claims. After that, my time comes around. Yeah, I'll drink. Not like that though. Oh, did I mention that we work in the morning? I'm gonna order a pizza and finish packing.

Don't let forest fires happen to you. Kick its ass. Til next time.

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