Thursday, August 10, 2006

Its More Of An Itching Than A Burning

The roof the roof the roof is on fire
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn
Burn motherfucker burn

No longer bound by the chains that hold me on restriction to the battalion area, my freedom is mocked by our deployment status. Slept like a death row short timer last night, with no particular help from the Black Hawks flying overhead. Read some old posts, contemplated how bad my writing sucks, and was glad. Eventually passed out sometime around 1 AM or so. When my alarm went off at 5:30, it took an act of God to pry my eyes open. Pinkeye can't hold eyes shut this well. We formed up according to the teams we're assigned in, me being in good ol' Team 8, and by that, I mean Ladder 8.

The chow hall was the usual oddyssey of mediocrity. If elementary school cafeterias can get it half right, why can't the army? Because that wouldn't suck enough. Soldiers can't live like rock stars, it ruins the discipline we fake when needed. Want proof? A guy in my mortar section inherited five million bucks, and is now on his way to getting out of the army. Change of lifestyle. Honorable discharge. The rich can't fight wars. Fuck you, I'm a millionaire. Good for him, yeah, but the concept is assbackwards. Funny thing how the dudes who seem like their family could really use/deserve money like that...never get it. I'm not jealous actually: the only way I want to get out of the army is an ETS (estimated time of seperation, or some other string of words that fits the acrononym and more or less suggests fulfilment of contract). I want to do my time and take a bow, exit stage right. There's my four, Uncle Sam, don't ever call me again. Give me my cabin in the woods or some equally cliche romantic ending. I'll be Obi Wan Kenobi living in the hills, hunting the freaks from The Hills Have Eyes. That's an excellent retirement plan.

As for now, I'm waiting. Go figure. Early call, wait. Hahaha. In another hour and a half (an hour has already passed since morning formation), my team goes to do SRP (soldier readiness program, or some shit, which is the deployment preparation, probably at or near Waller Hall) where we'll stand like cattle in a slaughter house, moving single file, mooing and bleating, chewing our cud, minds already numbed to the experience, docile and stupid, as we go from station to station to see all the paperwork on us that's been fucked up.

Oh, and the hell with sleep, I think I'm going to my buddy's place tonight. Got to meet these air force girls. And to assure my dear mother, I won't use the "pickup line" I mentioned the other day.

"Excuse me, miss. Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

No wonder they're sending a little sinner like me to the flames. I love the poetic justice. Consider it purgatory.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you decided not to use that pickup line. Once again, as I have so many times in your lifetime, I find myself thinking, "How did he come up with THAT?!?" You still crack me up.
luv ya...
Mom

jentard said...

Ewwww please tell me you've never used that for a pick up line. And if you did, please tell me it didn't work!!!!

Dragon112300 said...

Oh, I bet it works. You just have to "say"(do) it correctly......

Scout Sniper Systems LLC. said...

Bro, get your acronyms straight... lol. Hey I get what you're saying about the rich, but it's not as simple as people wanting to get out. I own Scout Sniper Systems LLC. and am in the service. It sent up a red flag to my command when I had to take a few phone calls and the guy on the other end was offering me 7 digits to buy a design and I told him to lick my nuts. I can only talk on speakerphone because of the tpe of job I have. Transparency has to be in play at all times at the office. Anyway I will not HAVE to ask to get out, I will be forcably seperated against my will if it goes up any higher. The Army is on a witch hunt for any reason to kick someone out. What they don't understand is that I came from a family with money and this is no change of lifestyle. I LOVE the Army. All of the stupid BS that goes into a day, how they make anything that could potentially be fun a retarded 10 step process...
daily 1SG meetings at 0515 when formation isnt until 0630...all of it. I mean that too, that sh@t pumps me up. I think that the way of the Soldier, (not today's Soldier but Soldiers like we had when I came in 10 years ago) is part of my personality to the point where even though I do have a very sucessful business, it's based around military products. I think the civilian world would reject me if I were like a real estate agent or something lame like that. If your job is to go into places unseen and tear a whole compound or just an individual apart, or to over watch other teams while they go in and do the same with heavy precision firing capabilities, you can't leave that to go work at Wal-Mart. One the one side I AGREE WITH YOU 100% noone should be able to just get out because of having money all of a sudden. But on the other end I don't think people should be forced out either. The issue is where the human element comes in. What happens when a 5 year SPC all of a sudden gets money like what you described and 1SG, CSM finds out? Would it be the same or would it be hey SPC if you pay off my truck I will make sure you get promoted this month and spend the minimal amount of time as E5 and waive your time in grade in 8 months for E6... its not for me to say what WOULD ACTUALLY happen. I want you to think about it and get back with me.