Friday, July 21, 2006

And I Ran, I Ran So Far Away

Woke up at 5 AM today and we prepared for a battalion run. That consists of four to five companies, possibly more in some cases unless I'm mistaken. Each company is usually about 150 or so guys. Maybe more. So you're looking at hundreds of guys running in formation. Each company runs together.

We stretched and waited for the other companies to show up, while speakers that were set up blasted "Disposable Heroes" by Metallica, a song that's about as old as I am. Once things kicked off, it was the same old run it usually is. Someone's calling cadence (those songs you hear when military types run around, popular in the movies), you're running, someone smells like ass, you better run.

We hadn't been on a serious run for a while, because we'd been so busy, then everyone went on leave. So this one kicked my ass a bit. The first half of a run like this, I tend to sound off a little louder and more fierce (my attempt at it I mean) than I should, and it makes me a little light headed. So I decided screw returning cadence, I was just going to run til I got my breath back (running to catch your breath...isn't that like bombing for peace?).

One of our NCOs, who calls some pretty good cadence I must say, ran his bit for a while, then called me out. I really didn't feel like doing it, but who am I to disappoint, right? So I veer out of the formation to the side of it and start warming the guys up to my particular brand of making loud noises for no apparent reason. After a minute or two, as worn out as I already was, I went ahead and broke out my signature cadence, which was stolen from one of my drill sergeants, but I'm shameless. Only the third verse is all that new anyway.

When I get to Heaven
St Peter's gonna say
"How'd you earn your livin, boy?
How'd you earn your pay?"
I reply with a whole lotta anger
"Earned my livin as an Airborne Ranger" (even though most of us don't have airborne wings OR a Ranger tab)

When I get to Hell
Satan's gonna say
"How'd you earn your livin boy?
How'd you earn your pay?"
I reply with a boot to his chest
"Earned my livin layin souls to rest!"

When I get to prison (this is where its new to the guys)
Cellmate's gonna say
"How'd you earn your livin boy?
How'd you earn your pay?"
I reply with a SHANK to his gut
"You ain't gettin this Infantry butt!!!"

After calling that cadence, it doesn't matter how bad I suck. They love that one. But as I was saying, I was pretty freaking smoked, especially on the last stretch. We even passed another company's formation, which probably didn't do much to help the rivalry we have with them (they work harder, longer hours, more bullshit, and we're still better. Ha).

We stretched, I wanted to yak all over the place, painting the sidewalk in lovely shades and tones of Hot Pocket and Powerade. When we were released, I went upstairs and took a 15 minute long COLD shower, and man was it worth it. Normally, when you get in the shower, and its cold, your reaction is more of an "Ah! Dammit!" But after a bastardly run, its just "Ahhh" instead.

Now its off to work again.

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