Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Unlikely Patient

I went to the ASAP (Alcohol & Substance Abuse Program) building today for my appointment and evaluation. I'm an at-risk type fellow, so I get to have all sorts of fun being enrolled in their program. I guess its not AA or anything, but an educational program to set dumbtards like me straight.

They do a good job of really neutering you with kindness in there. I almost forgot that I was only there because I'm underage, and had I been a few months older, the MP would have been more inclined to send me on my way (on foot) and apologize for bringing my buzz down. Still, I suppose it'll be good for me, because I don't usually drink casually, but passionately, with unyielding motivation and overall love of the game.

So I have to go to a few sessions at the center itself, plus sit in on 2 to 3 AA sessions. Now if that were all there was to it, I'd be tapdancing and singing show tunes right now. But the Article 15 monster is still lurking in a stack of paperwork, yawning and stretching, wiping the sleep out of its eyes and licking its chops. Waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce suddenly in a cascading flurry of paper, attach itself to my face like those pink bastards from "Aliens" and suck the life out of me, leaving me a hollow shell of a man whose purpose is to cut grass, pull weeds, mow lawns, mop floors, and god knows what else. And then life will go on.


Dave said...

hehe... are you sure they were "neutering you with kindness?" Ouch!

Breezy said...

Heh, my fiance went through the SAME thing for being 20 and blowing a 0.05. That's legal in VA if you're 21+

BigD said...

I would like to have a front row seat for the tap dancing and singing of show tunes! I just saw some great tap dancing the other night. Did you know I am a tap dancer? Anyway, I son had to do the AA thing for quite a while as part of his "sentence." He also had to do random drug testing for a looooooong time, which he enjoyed like hell. I hope they make a decision soon so you can get on with whatever! In the meanwhile, you can work on your time steps. Take care, Ryan.