Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Another Roadmarch, and I Am Awesome

So we, the mighty "Leg" (non Airborne, non Ranger) Infantry fellas had ourselves another roadmarch, again, preparing us for the EIB. This was a 6 mile roadmarch to be completed in an hour and a half. Our platoon sergeant shaved an extra ten minutes off of the goal.

We stood around at our start point for a couple minutes, until we were given the 'Go'. I started walking with a friend of mine, but to be honest, he was all moody and down over some girl, so I did what any truly caring, concerned, and loyal friend would do. I took off and left him behind me, cuz it was bringing me down a little. Once I was far enough away from the start point, I pulled out my little iPod, tied it off to my belt loop the way we used to tie down our 550 cord in basic (with which you tie a knot in for every canteen of water you've consumed that day) to keep it from getting lost. Leaving the body of it in my pocket, I ran the headphones up between my brown t-shirt and my BDU top, and put in one earpiece on the right, which was concealed by my kevlar, but six inches of white cable could be seen clear as day anyway.

Now, the past few years, I haven't been to into metal. More the melodic, progressive, and slightly bizarre music. I'd been into Tool and A Perfect Circle heavily, The Mars Volta, and a few other bands here and there. But since I've been in the army, I've slowly regained my taste for sonic ass-kicking. So naturally, my iPod is crammed with songs by Disturbed (the first album, only the best will suffice) and plenty of Slipknot. How can you NOT get pumped?

So anyway, there I am, rucking my cute little heart out, passing up the guys in my platoon who took off faster. Wasn't long before I was in 3rd place, behind this tall lanky guy from Arkansas who can ruck like nobodies business. The supply Sgt that I unloaded on with blanks last week was in first. I blame his Airborne history.

I ran almost the entire way. Yes, I did walk a bit, because rucking kind of sucks a lot. For the most part, I'd be doing what is called the "Airborne Shuffle", which isn't necessarily running, but is certainly not walking. There were a couple times were I actually fell in to the rear of PT formations where guys were running in formation. You are correct, I do happen to be a smartass.

One thing about roadmarches is that you want to stay hydrated, because you sweat a lot. However, you don't want to drink too much water, because then you'll be kicked in the gut by the Nausea God. This may be a phenomenon with me alone, I don't know, but roadmarching makes my nose run, but in a sticky manner. I blow a lot of snot-rockets while rucking. At one point, my aim was not so true, and a thick, translucent gob of nose syrup shot out and clung to one of my shoulder straps. As I walked, I recall looking at my mess with an agitated look that likely spelled out, "....Why?"

I ended up finishing 2nd, behind the demonic supply sergeant. The tall Arkansan dude, as far as my suspicions go, let me beat him. He finished up practically right behind me, and I seriously think he could have burned my nerdy ass if he wanted to.

But since he didn't, I rule, and everyone should worship me. And no, this does not mean that I will become "high speed", or some sort of super soldier. I will still treat this endeavor as though I am crawling across a sea of broken glass, with an affectionate whining. Its what I do.

Happy trails, I'm off to some random range that I know nothing about because I didn't pay attention, but instead focused on not throwing up water at the finish line.


Anonymous said...

You've come a long way baby!


Anonymous said...

Slipknot and Perfect Circle, what could be better?!