Monday, August 15, 2005

Same 4 Walls

This post is more about my own thoughts than t is about the army.

Sure, overall, I am happy with my enlistment in this army. But I don't think that there's anyone who doesn't at one point or another regret signing up, even if only slightly.

Yes, for the time being, I'm doing something with my life. I'm not a slave or anything, but enlisting is one hell of a sacrifice. I could be at home. I could be working a normal job. I could still have my car, I could still see my friends and my family. I could quit my job if I didn't enjoy it anymore. I was free. Now, I'm obligated. I'm not ungrateful or grudging, but sometimes these things catch up with you.

Today, I seriously couldn't have cared less about what we were doing. Crossing linear danger areas (roads) in a tactical manner. Hand to hand training. And that was only the 2nd half of the day. Three other privates and I spent the morning moving an office from one room to the one across the hall. I'm hundred miles away from home, and I just learned that a friend of mine back home, who I could always hang out with because he was always around, easy to get ahold of, is now packing up to go to college. Its a perfect example of what I was planning on writing about.

When my four years are up, what will I come home to? My little brothers will be almost completely grown up. My sister will be married. Maybe even have a kid of her own. My parents will probably still be the same for the most part, but what about my friends? Life isn't going to drop everything and hold just for me to go embark on some crusade.

I'll be starting all over. I left everything behind. Now that I'm committed, I have no control over anything at all. One of my battle buddies (army lingo for 'good friend who is also in the army) has a fiancee back home, on the other side of the country. I can't imagine leaving that behind. I'm sure its safe for us to assume that they're doomed.

We dropped everything to "answer the call". Everything a person does in life has some form of consequence. How will we feel once we deploy?

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