Monday, January 24, 2005

Ye Olde Update For Mine Wait Of Yore

Guess what, girls? NOTHING NEW.

Today, I was briefed by my recruiter, and then we went and ate at a Chinese Buffet with another recruit who will be in my unit, unless of course something crazy happens, like Dogs and Cats start living together, or the Buffalo Bills win a SuperBowl (one of these days, you non-Bill-fan-bastards!).

I suppose I should offer an actual opinion now and then, seeing as my views are the gospel truth and anyone who disagrees is just plain wrong, and should go eat worms.

Whenever I talk about having enlisted, a lot of people's reaction is something along the lines of, "Good luck man, I hate your boss." I usually respond by saying, "I've never met him." I'm glad he's the President and not me. I don't want to do that. That just doesn't sound like the relaxing job that would suit me. I'd prefer to run a LOT and get yelled at by drill sergeants a lot, and do a LOT of pushups, and train with weapons (actually that part I really DO want to do) yaddah yaddah, goober-dee-gop. Insert humor here.

"Dood, u r fighting for oil, lolz."

K, first off, not every enlisted person is a combatant. Second, I do believe that the oilfields have been turned over to the interim government o' Iraq. "U R stoopid, that iz just a puppit orgunization uv the yoonited states!" Well, I'm very sure. I'm kind of curious as to where this obsession with conspiracy comes from?

Sure, we all like to think that the world is a big evil scary place and you can't trust your government, because they just HAVE to be stiffing us, and we're all just subjects, and only Eddie Vetter can save us. If you want, I can prattle on with more sarcasm, but I think I laid that on thick enough. If not, take a look at the alternative/grunge generation. Yeah, where are they? They either all got a clue and became normal people, or the hardcore ones died, like Kurt Cobain (and no, I will not debate as to whether or not Courtney had him killed, because I really don't care).

So let's be purely hypothetical and assume that Mr Bush truly IS the boogeyman that my peers feel I should see him as...... Wait, hold on, I'm trying to stop laughing, give me a minute. Great, I just imagined Kerry cutting all of our budgets to increase UN funding, cutting CIA and NSA budgets in half and FBI budget by 80%, voting against BODY ARMOR FOR U.S. TROOPS, as well as the M1 Abrams, and oh, pretty much every military bill that came up for review since 1980something or another. Wow, I sure want HIM to lead.

I remember reading about infantry training after their budget had been cut a few years back. During training exercises, rather than using blanks or training rounds or whatever, the soldiers would point their guns and yell "Bang bang bang," or my favorite of the two, "Budget cuts! Budget cuts!"

I don't claim a political party, because I'm just too cool for that, I'm like M.C. Hammer, and you can't touch this. But I don't mind having a Republican increase defense spending. It sounds like a good idea to me.

"Well, dood, no 1 is a threat to us in the werld!"

You know, I think that maybe that's because we have the funding, the experience, and the training. Oh wait, since right now, all is good and peachy, should we cut loose? Yeah, the hell with research and training and all of this nonsense gobbledygook. What a HORRID idea! Because without working to stay where we are, I'm POSITIVE that we'll just magically stay dominant and able to defend ourselves. For anyone who has the opinion used as example above, please rethink.... well, everything. Especially if you're paying money to be taught to think that, which I'm sure you aren't, but one can never be sure. There are overly liberal college professors, aren't there? I wouldn't know. I'm letting the Army toss $37,000 to whatever college I decided to slump into. Student loans? What the hell are THOSE?

So far, Bush hasn't done anything to make me think that he is completely evil.

"Omg you stoopid Hitler luver! He made us go to war with Iraq! What a poophead!"

Yyyyyyeah. Well, unless I'm mistaken, Saddam and Co. weren't very nice, so please, don't try to jerk my tears out that way. And if you think that the people of Iraq were better off with that leadership, do me a favor and read up on Uday and Qusay Hussein. Then I might consider talking to you, after I'm done GUTLAUGHING.

I like Bush. I like Clinton. Al Gore kind of makes me nervous, but I'm sure he's a cool guy.

1 comment:

rachie said...

well i just thought you'd be interested in this quote, i've been waiting a long time to whip this out..."the thing that sets Kurt Cobain apart from all the other severely depressed people of his time is pure bravery - while others were pretending to be suicidal, he actually did it." -Elizabeth Wurtzel, the most ungodly beautiful chemically depressed person i've ever seen. Enjoy. rock on. eat some eggplant, it's good for you.